My Recent Relationship with Food and Intuitive Eating
Two weeks into the New Year, some of us are kicking butt with our resolutions, some of us have dropped them, and some of us never made any (I fall in the latter category).
Whichever description fits you is okay. It’s also okay to let go of goals temporarily when life hands you a big challenge.
Recently, I came toe-to-toe with my relationship with food and intuitive eating. I was stressed, and my intuitive eating mantra was tested.
A couple of days after Thanksgiving, my family experienced a tragedy. My oldest sister unexpectedly passed away. First came shock, denial, sorrow, anger, and back to shock. Like intuitive eating, there is no order, wrong or right.
A few hours after I heard the news, I went to one of my calming mechanisms: cooking, which this time was just a distraction because I certainly did not feel calm. I cooked for over 6 hours, stopping to cry, or call a family member.
As the days went by, I noticed that I ate until uncomfortably full every time I ate. This surprised me as I have eaten intuitively for the past ten years. Besides being uncomfortable, I didn’t mind using food to soothe my emotions. I was completely unaware of when I was satisfied and didn’t feel or notice until I was stuffed!
This went on for 2-3 weeks and, needless to say, my pants were a bit tighter. As expected, given my emotional roller coaster, I was upset with the feeling of being out of control with food and that my clothes weren’t as comfortable as usual.
So what did I do?
I got down on myself and thought about all the different diets I could go on. Yes! I did and I can’t believe I am even admitting this. But it's the truth! AND, I always ask my clients and readers to be kind and compassionate to themselves. I felt like such a hypocrite (just to add more emotional stuff to my already long list).
I thought about doing the Keto diet and, suddenly, all I wanted to eat was carbs! Then I thought about a low-calorie diet, but all I craved was ice cream, brie cheese, and pasta in a cream sauce. Then I thought about packaged foods because they are smaller portions, but I could only think about fresh food in large portions.
Although I regained a bit of my ability to eat intuitively, my overeating lasted about a week longer. Finally, I stopped and thought about what I tell my clients and what I truly believe in. It’s understandable to use food to soothe. Sometimes, that is the only thing that will soothe us.
Eventually, I returned to eating until I was satisfied and picked up my movement routine again. I can’t say my pants are any looser, but I feel much better. Maybe the extra weight will come off, and maybe it won’t. I don’t know. My weight has fluctuated my entire life, depending on what is happening. I also know that anytime I have ever thought about a diet, and this time is no exception, we want what we are thinking of restricting.
As my sister always supported and encouraged me, I encourage and support each one of you to be kind to yourselves, no matter what happens with your very real or not-at-all New Year’s resolutions.
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